I think I'm allergic to my air conditioner.

Seriously I think I'm allergic to my air conditioner.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME???

I cleaned the dust out of my AC, yet every time I turn it on I sneeze endlessly.

So I have a choice: either sneeze to death or boil to death in the California heat.
(ok I'm being dramatic. I can't boil to death without water)

I'm going to sleep in my air conditioned car tonight. If you walk by my car tonight please don't knock on my windows to wake me up- that's just mean spirited.

Bridget

BRUCNH WITH THE LWORD'S KEENER!

This week on BWB I play with my buddy and the LWord's DD, ELIZABETH KEENER! Keener is a nut job which is why I love her. She brought more props that Carrot Top and felt the need to take her pants off- who am I to judge?

Enjoy.....

BWB KEENER

WOMENS NIGHT WITH JANE LYNCH AND SHARON STONE

Hi guys,
I've received a lot of emails about WOMEN'S NIGHT on May 3rd so below is all the information if you want to attend the event.

Bridget

Saturday, May 3, 2008
The Music Box @ Henry Ford Theater
6126 Hollywood Blvd, Hollywood, CA
VIP Cocktail party begins at 6pm

WOMENSNIGHT

I'm pretty sure...

I saw Barbara Bush driving a yellow Ford Focus down Beverly Blvd today. It had to have been her. Right?

Me on 3 WAY!

If you live under a rock (than it's probably uncomfortable) and you might not be aware of the Hottest Lesbian Comedy NOT on tv called 3 WAY!!! I was honored to be included in this week's episode. If you care to view it click the below link:

3WAY

I HATE OMAR AT ALDO.

Aldo is a shoe store that I use to shop at during high school. In the last few years I've been purchasing more "sporty" wear shoes (aka DYKE shoes that are flat and good for adventures) but now in my "adulthood" I wanted to get some "lady shoes". (In case you didn't know I love using "quotes")

Last week I purchased a pair of black sandals that had a heel made of cork (classy eh?- but you never know when you will need to thumbtack a memo to them) and they cost me $86. I took them home and opened the box and decided I hated them before I even put them on again. I've been delaying on returning them cuz I'm lazy but tonight I dragged my ass up and walked to Aldo.

I gave the man at the counter my receipt and credit card and he reviewed the shoes. Then he handed the receipt back to me and said I'd have to come back tomorrow. I asked "Why?" and he said he wasn't authorized to give refunds on "worn" shoes. I told him I hadn't worn them- I didn't even wear them in my apartment. He told me this was clearly not the case. (ok anyone who knows me knows I get pissed when there is injustice in the world. And at this moment this man was attacking my character and saying that I'm someone who would wear an item and then return it- which is essentially stealing- and I would NOT steal) This man was accusing me of a crime that I didn't commit- at this moment I knew how Nelson Mandela felt!

I asked the clerk what his name was and he said "Omar".

I HATE Omar!

I got the name of his manager and the corporate office phone number so I can call and complain about the time I had to waste by going into their store twice to return the same pair of shoes. I told Omar that since I hadn't worn the shoes that maybe the shoes in Aldo were dirty while in the store (that seems like a dumb response in retrospect) yet the tone (aka SCREAMING) got my point across.

I left the store, promptly called the corporate office which is closed on the weekend and started to walk home and thought- well I guess the shoes were kinda cute so I might as well keep them.

Below is a picture of the bottom of the shoes. Do they look worn to you?

I SWEAR I DIDN'T WEAR THEM!!!! :)

BRUNCH WITH LIZ "HEART HOLE" FELMAN

This week's BWB episode is entitled BWB Blazers in honor of Liz "Heart-Hole" Feldman. The amazingly talented writer and comedian kept me on my toes while in bed.

Click this link to view:
BRUNCH WITH LIZ

MY OWN BIG SHOW!!!

Hi guys! I have a special event coming up that I wanted you to be aware of. I finally have my own BIG show where you will see me, me and more me!

Here's the show's information:

TALL, DARK, AND RANDOM
An evening of comedy starring Bridget McManus
with Daniel Leary

Thursday 05/08/2008
8:00 PM
M BAR
1253 N. Vine St
Hollywood, CA 90039
(valet parking available)

Come out and laugh while you enjoy a fabulous dinner.
Doors open @ 7:00, show starts @ 8:00

Tickets: $15 with reservation, $20 at the door
$10 food charge per person
323-856-0036 PLEASE MAKE RESERVATIONS NOW AS THIS SHOW WILL SELL OUT

I can't stop eating chips!

I officially need help! I seriously can't stop consuming Trader Joes's Spicy Flaxseed Chips.

Scene. Black out.

p.s.s.

Did I tell you I stepped on a ball point pen last night and it went THRU my foot and I need to get a tetanus shot?

Jealous?

OF COURSE I SET MY BLANKET ON FIRE!

I'm not sure how I wake up every morning in one piece because I'm so freaking accident prone. So tonight, like every other night, my clumsy ass did something fucked up. I was trying to fix my internet connection and thought the problem might lie in my power strip. I turned on my halogen lamp (my college dorm light- who's a stud?) to see if the strip was working but, alas, it wasn't. I gave up on fixing it myself so after being on the phone with AT&T for 20 minutes I started to smell burning flesh. Don't worry my neighbor is NOT Sweeney Todd the burning was coming from my apartment! (duh!) My dumb ass turned on the lamp which WAS working and then knocked it over onto my new white blanket which caught on fire and burned through to the carpet.

My apartment smells amazing right now and by "amazing" I mean fucking awful!

Bridget

p.s. when is death coming for me........

KAYLA JONES THANK YOU!!!

Kayla Jones is a wonderful girl who has been sweet enough to redesign the AfterEllen vlog logos.

I just wanted to thank her for her time and effort- she's a ROCKSTAR!!!

Here's the new BWB logo:

STANDUP AT DINAH

Hi kiddies- The amazing Liz Feldman and I performed at Dinah Shore for the Afternoon with AfterEllen.

Click the below link to view:

STANDUPATDINAH

DINAH COVERAGE!

Good morning children! The newest episode of "YOU CAN'T TAKE THEM ANYWHERE" has just been posted online. Karman and I hit the red carpet at DINAH SHORE and interview the bestest ladies in the WORLD! (or the ones that attended the Dural White Party)

Click this link to view:
DINAHSHOREBABY

It's not my fault GOD blessed me with the gift of dance!

Below are pictures of me at the Dinah Shore White party that I found on the INTERNET!!!- not surprisingly, I received a "Dinah Ho" tank top for my dance wizardry.

p.s. my mom has officially disowned me.

p.s.s. Are there any job openings for IN LIVING COLOR fly-girls?

BRUNCH WITH THE AE TERMINATOR GIRLS

It's 2:29am why am I up blogging? Remember 10 years ago when blogging wasn't a word yet? You probably don't because you were not born yet. In my day I use to have to walk to school, barefoot, uphill both ways and fend for my lunch money- awww memories....

Anyway this week's BWB is up and I'm playing with Jenn and Dee from the AE vlog "Come with Me If You Want to Live". This episode was shot in Palm Springs at the Dinah (Vagina) Shore weekend. Jenn and Dee discuss their first girl kisses and I show off my dance moves which earned me a flashy white-beater declaring that I'm a "DINAH HO" My mom will be so proud of me after watching this.

Enjoy!

BWB EPISODE 15

I WAS HECKLED BY A 3 YEAR OLD...

and I heckled that escaped-abortion right back. Little fucker. Sadly, he stole my tambourine. Don't worry my posse got it back. Just a regular day at the office.

Don't my blogs make you appreciate your lives?

Come drink with me

Hi kiddies- tonight I will be at the Standard Hotel in Los Angeles hanging out and drinking the drink. It's all for Mariah Hanson's ONE NIGHT STAND. I'm the "featured" guest- which kinda confuses me because I think I'll have to act all normal and functional instead of humping a mic stand on stage. So if you're around and interested come out and have a drink and play with me.

Bridget

I am officially dumb as hell

Last week I drove to Palm Springs to partake in the Dinah Shore Lesbofest. My sister and all my friends came in tow and I was happy with both of my performances on Saturday (Afternoon with AfterEllen and the Ladies of Logo show with host Suzanne Westenhoefer)

All seemed well UNTIL I attempted to park my jeep in a sand lot across the street from the Dural Hotel where the Dinah events occurred. Other cars parked in the lot with no problem but not surprisingly I had issues. My jeepy jeep sank into the sand and the more I tried to drive it out the more the sand swallowed it up. I assumed with all the dykes in town I could get them to maneuver it out- but alas even with the help of my diesel dyke friend Dara there was nothing that we could do without professional assistance.

In summery if you feel like spending $200 on a car tow let me drive.

Enjoy the car gallery:

SHE MADE ME WATCH THIS! Competition

While in Palm Springs rockin the DINAH I was apart of the newest "She Made Me Watch This!" In this episode Karman and I team up to beat Sarah and Lori in lesbian trivia- a good time was had by all.

Click this link to enjoy: SMMWT

MY SISTER ON BWB!

Morning kiddies. My newest "Brunch with Bridget" episode has been posted online. This week I get my ass kicked by my older queer sister Audrey. I’m still sore...enjoy!

Click this link to view:
brunchwithbridget

April Fools Bitches!

Come on who hasn't moved all the furniture from the living room to the kitchen just to freak out your parents on April fool's day? That's all "been there, done that". Here are 3 original April Fools ideas to get your April 2008 going in the right direction. (Thank you to Britney and Mary for donating their faces to act out the victims reactions)

#3 Don't pay your rent. This one take a few days so have some patience. Make sure you're not home when the landlord delivers the eviction notice to your roommate. That totally will get her goose!




#2 Tell your boss how you really feel about them. All the rage you have pent up inside just let it out in 4 letter words and pelvic gyrations. After you have said all that you need to back track and explain you were just kidding due to the holiday. That way you will finally get your true hate for them off your chest and they can't do anything about it since April fools is a national holiday.



#1 Call your ex-girlfriend and tell her you still love her and you want her back. Once she lets her guard down and agrees to a one on one meeting with you tell her she sucks and hang up. (*This one is super duper fun and more effective if drinking is involved. Honestly I would never do this to any of my exs- they are all supercool and I love them. I also love that I date supercool chicks- kudos Bridget kudos.)