I just got a tattoo on my ribs and it hurt so fucking bad that I screamed. My tattoo artist ("my" tattoo artist -apparently I own her), told me I wasn't allow to have any more diet soda because the caffeine was making me crazy Unbeknownst to her I was born crazy!!!
:)
p.s. I can't wait to scab!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
Just keeping it REAL
I just returned to California after 10 days on the East Coast. I was in Boston attending my brother's college graduation (my brother received a degree in Illustration, I received a Drama degree and my sister received a degree in Art- I feel bad for my parents)
On Saturday, I decided to take a bus from Boston to New York. All seemed well until the bus backed out of the bus terminal and the driver got on the loud speaker to announce that he was not from the New England area therefore we should monitor him to make sure he was going in the correct direction. Everyone on the bus laughed assuming the driver was joking- he was NOT. Then the driver said Greyhound had provided him with directions and he would do his best to get us to get us there.
The driver said "I'm just keeping it real! I'm not from around here so we might not get to New York." Then he asked the passengers to help him out, "If anyone knows how to get to New York please switch seats and sit up front I can have a co-pilot." I volunteered to be his co-pilot since I have driven from Boston to New York before.
4 hours later with one pit stop at McDonalds (not my choice of course) we arrived at Port Authority Bus terminal in New York City.
Since we're all "keeping it real" I'm wondering, since I helped navigate to our destination, do you think I should have had to paid for my bus ticket?
Also, why does this dumb shit happen to me?
On Saturday, I decided to take a bus from Boston to New York. All seemed well until the bus backed out of the bus terminal and the driver got on the loud speaker to announce that he was not from the New England area therefore we should monitor him to make sure he was going in the correct direction. Everyone on the bus laughed assuming the driver was joking- he was NOT. Then the driver said Greyhound had provided him with directions and he would do his best to get us to get us there.
The driver said "I'm just keeping it real! I'm not from around here so we might not get to New York." Then he asked the passengers to help him out, "If anyone knows how to get to New York please switch seats and sit up front I can have a co-pilot." I volunteered to be his co-pilot since I have driven from Boston to New York before.
4 hours later with one pit stop at McDonalds (not my choice of course) we arrived at Port Authority Bus terminal in New York City.
Since we're all "keeping it real" I'm wondering, since I helped navigate to our destination, do you think I should have had to paid for my bus ticket?
Also, why does this dumb shit happen to me?
Brunch with Kate McKinnon
Hi guys- I hope you all had a wonderful Memorial Day. I had to work which SUCKED!!! This week on Brunch I played with the Big Gay Sketch Show's Kate McKinnon. We compared obsessions over Gillian Anderson (she won) and had the most awkward pillow fight of my life.
Enjoy!
BRUNCH WITH KATE
Enjoy!
BRUNCH WITH KATE
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Brunch with Butches
Hi kiddies- My newest BWB has been posted with my fabulous friend and fellow AE vlogger Dara Nai. This week Dara teaches me how to be "butch". But I'm not sure she should be instructing and if it's safe for me to be learning.
Happy Sunday!!!
Butch Brunch
Happy Sunday!!!
Butch Brunch
Friday, May 16, 2008
Ice Coffee
Today I was walking around New York City searching for coffee...God I love coffee! I walked up to a coffee shop located between 71st and 72nd street and there was a huge sign in the window that read, "WE HAVE ICED COFFEE".
This confused me. Shouldn't all coffee shops have iced coffee? Is there an ice shortage in the World that I'm not aware of? Know global warming is a real issue but has it already started to affect our coffee shops?
While I worry about the state of the World I'm going to enjoy my iced coffee.
Bridget
This confused me. Shouldn't all coffee shops have iced coffee? Is there an ice shortage in the World that I'm not aware of? Know global warming is a real issue but has it already started to affect our coffee shops?
While I worry about the state of the World I'm going to enjoy my iced coffee.
Bridget
Flying, Bridget style.
Yesterday I flew to New York my home away from home and like everything else someone put retarded in the water. I checked in online last night and I thought the airport "rules" required that you check in 30 minutes before a flight. Apparently, if you are checking baggage the airport requires you to check them in 45 minutes before the flight. Whoops! 35 minutes before the flight I handed the airport worker my bag and was told I couldn't bring my baggage on the plane because there was no time to check it. I looked at my enormous bag and I knew there was no way this piece of luggage could be a carry on. So I batted my eyes and got my bag taken away to the plane (well I hope that's where it's going). Then I had to sign a waiver saying if my bag was lost then it was my own damn fault. The form actually had the word "damn" on it. I felt like I was 7 years old being scolded by my mom.
I raced threw check in and while my bag was being X-rayed I saw the x-ray screener person push all the bags down the conveyer belt causing a pile up of gray bins. My computer, which was quietly resting in it's own plastic tray was suddenly catapulted into the air. It was a Jerry Bruckheimer moment with slow motion action and an explosion of light (at least in my head). I believe my computer is okay since I'm using it to write this blog. I'll let you know later if I have to take her off life support (and of course my computer is a girl...duh!)
After I coddled my laptop I realized I only had 12 minutes before my plane took off without me. I during the chaos I left my bad-ass cowboy belt at the xray machine.
R.I.P. super cool cowboy belt R.I.P.
I made the flight (I guess you knew that since the first sentence I wrote was "I flew to New York). At 9:50AM the flight attendant, Judy, asked if I would be "lunching" on the plane and I responded "Sure!"
The lunch choice was chicken (still stuck to it's skeleton and rotting on a plate) with asparagus OR pasta with tomatoes and mushrooms (I'm allergic to tomatoes and mushrooms remind me of something very inappropriate that I won't go into) But between the two I had to chose the pasta since I'm a vegetarian.
At 10:02 there was a plate of pasta on my fold-out table. Ummmm... I'm Italian so I'm use to pasta and all but not at 10AM! Am I wrong here? I asked Judy if I could wait and have it later and she said "Nope. Have it now or not have it at all." I had a flashback to Schindler's list and I'm the girl in the little red coat choking on pasta at fucking 10AM.
I'll write more when more chaos ensues.
Bridget
I raced threw check in and while my bag was being X-rayed I saw the x-ray screener person push all the bags down the conveyer belt causing a pile up of gray bins. My computer, which was quietly resting in it's own plastic tray was suddenly catapulted into the air. It was a Jerry Bruckheimer moment with slow motion action and an explosion of light (at least in my head). I believe my computer is okay since I'm using it to write this blog. I'll let you know later if I have to take her off life support (and of course my computer is a girl...duh!)
After I coddled my laptop I realized I only had 12 minutes before my plane took off without me. I during the chaos I left my bad-ass cowboy belt at the xray machine.
R.I.P. super cool cowboy belt R.I.P.
I made the flight (I guess you knew that since the first sentence I wrote was "I flew to New York). At 9:50AM the flight attendant, Judy, asked if I would be "lunching" on the plane and I responded "Sure!"
The lunch choice was chicken (still stuck to it's skeleton and rotting on a plate) with asparagus OR pasta with tomatoes and mushrooms (I'm allergic to tomatoes and mushrooms remind me of something very inappropriate that I won't go into) But between the two I had to chose the pasta since I'm a vegetarian.
At 10:02 there was a plate of pasta on my fold-out table. Ummmm... I'm Italian so I'm use to pasta and all but not at 10AM! Am I wrong here? I asked Judy if I could wait and have it later and she said "Nope. Have it now or not have it at all." I had a flashback to Schindler's list and I'm the girl in the little red coat choking on pasta at fucking 10AM.
I'll write more when more chaos ensues.
Bridget
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Questions for the Universe
I have two very important questions for the Universe:
#1 Can one eat TOO much caesar salad?
#2 Why am I covered in mosquito bites? I thought Los Angeles didn't have mosquitos!
#1 Can one eat TOO much caesar salad?
#2 Why am I covered in mosquito bites? I thought Los Angeles didn't have mosquitos!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
NYC- Meet & Greet!
Hi guys- the AfterEllen.com ladies are doing a Meet & Greet in New York on May 18th. Please stop by and say hi if you're around.
Here are the details:
DATE: Sunday, May 18th
TIME: 3pm to 6pm
LOCATION: The Bar K section of Cowgirl
ADDRESS: the bar/restaurant is located at 519 Hudson St, New York, NY 10014, but the Bar K room has a separate entrance at 255 W. 10th St.
WEBSITE: http://cowgirlnyc.com
DIRECTIONS: http://cowgirlnyc.com/directions.html
Here are some answers to some frequently asked questions...
WHAT'S THE POINT OF THIS EVENT?
For AE staff, vloggers, and 3Way folks to meet and chat with AE readers, and AE readers to meet each other. Please don't be shy! Come up to us and other attendees and introduce yourselves.
WHO WILL BE ATTENDING?
Sarah Warn, Lori Grant, Bridget McManus, Dara Nai, Karman Kregloe, Jill Bennett, Jenn and Dee, Nancylee Myatt, Paige Bernhardt, Maeve Quinlan, Cathy Shim and Kate McKinnon (subject to last-minute changes).
WHAT'S THE ATMOSPHERE AT THE RESTAURANT LIKE?
Definitely casual.
IS THIS A PRIVATE EVENT?
No. We're reserving the back room, but we're not renting out the restaurant, which means there be some non-AE people there (it is a lesbian-ish restaurant/bar, though).
DOES IT COST ANYTHING TO ATTEND?
Nope.
CAN I COME IF I'M UNDER 21?
Yes, all ages are welcome.
WILL THERE BE FOOD AND DRINKS?
You can buy drinks and appetizers during the event (the restaurant will only be serving appetizers while we're there, since there will be too many of us to serve meals). And please tip well, since the Cowgirl folks were nice enough to let us descend upon their restaurant with very little notice, and in general have been very accommodating.
WHAT'S THE PARKING SITUATION?
You'll probably need to find a parking lot, since you'll be unlikely to find street parking; go to Cowgirl's website for some suggestions on parking lots nearby.
CAN I BRING MY CAMERA AND TAKE PHOTOS?
Yes, but please don't post pictures of other AE members from the party on your MySpace profiles etc. without checking with them to see if it's OK first (since some folks may not be out, or at least not want to be out to the whole world).
I CAN'T MAKE IT UNTIL THE LAST HOUR; IS THAT A PROBLEM?
That's fine, but the restaurant only holds 200 people or so, so if by some chance we exceed that number, there may be a wait to get in.
NYC Meet & Greet
Here are the details:
DATE: Sunday, May 18th
TIME: 3pm to 6pm
LOCATION: The Bar K section of Cowgirl
ADDRESS: the bar/restaurant is located at 519 Hudson St, New York, NY 10014, but the Bar K room has a separate entrance at 255 W. 10th St.
WEBSITE: http://cowgirlnyc.com
DIRECTIONS: http://cowgirlnyc.com/directions.html
Here are some answers to some frequently asked questions...
WHAT'S THE POINT OF THIS EVENT?
For AE staff, vloggers, and 3Way folks to meet and chat with AE readers, and AE readers to meet each other. Please don't be shy! Come up to us and other attendees and introduce yourselves.
WHO WILL BE ATTENDING?
Sarah Warn, Lori Grant, Bridget McManus, Dara Nai, Karman Kregloe, Jill Bennett, Jenn and Dee, Nancylee Myatt, Paige Bernhardt, Maeve Quinlan, Cathy Shim and Kate McKinnon (subject to last-minute changes).
WHAT'S THE ATMOSPHERE AT THE RESTAURANT LIKE?
Definitely casual.
IS THIS A PRIVATE EVENT?
No. We're reserving the back room, but we're not renting out the restaurant, which means there be some non-AE people there (it is a lesbian-ish restaurant/bar, though).
DOES IT COST ANYTHING TO ATTEND?
Nope.
CAN I COME IF I'M UNDER 21?
Yes, all ages are welcome.
WILL THERE BE FOOD AND DRINKS?
You can buy drinks and appetizers during the event (the restaurant will only be serving appetizers while we're there, since there will be too many of us to serve meals). And please tip well, since the Cowgirl folks were nice enough to let us descend upon their restaurant with very little notice, and in general have been very accommodating.
WHAT'S THE PARKING SITUATION?
You'll probably need to find a parking lot, since you'll be unlikely to find street parking; go to Cowgirl's website for some suggestions on parking lots nearby.
CAN I BRING MY CAMERA AND TAKE PHOTOS?
Yes, but please don't post pictures of other AE members from the party on your MySpace profiles etc. without checking with them to see if it's OK first (since some folks may not be out, or at least not want to be out to the whole world).
I CAN'T MAKE IT UNTIL THE LAST HOUR; IS THAT A PROBLEM?
That's fine, but the restaurant only holds 200 people or so, so if by some chance we exceed that number, there may be a wait to get in.
NYC Meet & Greet
Monday, May 12, 2008
if you're looking for...
If you're looking for ALL the old people of the world they are all located at Bristol Farms grocery store in Beverly Hills at this very moment! I went shopping for my boss at Bristol Farms tonight (the bottled water at this ritzy store runs you $3 a cup) therefore I shop at Pavilions.
While shopping for my boss' salmon cut sushi and Starbucks Mud Pie ice cream I noticed the grocery store was like being in a scene from the 1985 movie COCOON. Old people were everywhere. In front of my cart, behind my cart, under my cart...I wish....
If you don't already know old people are slow and move slowly and are really slow when moving.
The moral of the story is it took me 45 minutes to get out of the labyrinth of the elderly with my groceries.
Bridget
p.s. Be nice to old people -because they eventually die.
While shopping for my boss' salmon cut sushi and Starbucks Mud Pie ice cream I noticed the grocery store was like being in a scene from the 1985 movie COCOON. Old people were everywhere. In front of my cart, behind my cart, under my cart...I wish....
If you don't already know old people are slow and move slowly and are really slow when moving.
The moral of the story is it took me 45 minutes to get out of the labyrinth of the elderly with my groceries.
Bridget
p.s. Be nice to old people -because they eventually die.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
BRUNCH ON BROKEBITCH MOUNTAIN
Happy Sunday!!! This week on BRUNCH, I lie down with the producer/writer of SOUTH OF NOWHERE and 3WAY, Nancylee Myatt. Like any other Sunday, we lie in bed in chaps and spurs, play with dolls and a buffalo, and have a wedding ceremony.
Why? What do you guys on your weekends?
Enjoy!!!
Brokebitch Mountain
p.s. I heart Nancylee!!!
Why? What do you guys on your weekends?
Enjoy!!!
Brokebitch Mountain
p.s. I heart Nancylee!!!
Saturday, May 10, 2008
THE $300 PEE
(*Graphic Pictures Enclosed- PROCEED WITH CAUTION)
If you don't know by now I'm the most accident prone person in the world. Yesterday while getting a chai tea latte at a coffee shop I decided to quickly use the restroom before continuing my work day. In California it is a law that public restrooms must have toilet seat covers (thank God!). As I reached for a cover my finger got sliced in half by the metal dispenser. Blood went everywhere as I attempted to pull up my white pants and rush out of the restroom for help. The cut was so bad I immediately felt weak and knew I needed stitches.
I sat at the coffee bar with the waitress and called my friend who was close by and asked her to take me to the local Urgent Care.
Four stitches later I have a fabulously huge bandage and a medical bill that I'm guessing will be around $300. Actually... I bet that shit is more than $300- fuck!
The best part was the doctor asked me what I did for a living and I said I was a comedian.
He responded with "In real life?". I told him "No, just in the cartoon world." Then he proceeded to name drop all the celebrities he had worked on during his medical career. Apparently, Al Franken got a sprained ankle while playing basketball at Paramont Studios.
I hope the stitches get to come out before the New Now Next Awards.
By the way if you haven't voted for the Awards yet, please click these links to vote for me and my bloody finger:
BestComic: BrinkofFameComic
BestVlog: BestLesbianVlog
(You can vote as many times as your little hearts desire)
If you don't know by now I'm the most accident prone person in the world. Yesterday while getting a chai tea latte at a coffee shop I decided to quickly use the restroom before continuing my work day. In California it is a law that public restrooms must have toilet seat covers (thank God!). As I reached for a cover my finger got sliced in half by the metal dispenser. Blood went everywhere as I attempted to pull up my white pants and rush out of the restroom for help. The cut was so bad I immediately felt weak and knew I needed stitches.
I sat at the coffee bar with the waitress and called my friend who was close by and asked her to take me to the local Urgent Care.
Four stitches later I have a fabulously huge bandage and a medical bill that I'm guessing will be around $300. Actually... I bet that shit is more than $300- fuck!
The best part was the doctor asked me what I did for a living and I said I was a comedian.
He responded with "In real life?". I told him "No, just in the cartoon world." Then he proceeded to name drop all the celebrities he had worked on during his medical career. Apparently, Al Franken got a sprained ankle while playing basketball at Paramont Studios.
I hope the stitches get to come out before the New Now Next Awards.
By the way if you haven't voted for the Awards yet, please click these links to vote for me and my bloody finger:
BestComic: BrinkofFameComic
BestVlog: BestLesbianVlog
(You can vote as many times as your little hearts desire)
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
VOTE FOR BRUNCH WITH BRIDGET
Hi guys- BRUNCH WITH BRIDGET is up for the "Best Lesbian Vlog" Award at the New Now Next Awards.
Please click the below link then click on my face and hit submit vote. You can vote as many times as your little heart desires- hopefully your heart desires it a lot.
Thanks!
Love,
Bridget & Baby Bridget
VOTEBWB
Please click the below link then click on my face and hit submit vote. You can vote as many times as your little heart desires- hopefully your heart desires it a lot.
Thanks!
Love,
Bridget & Baby Bridget
VOTEBWB
No More Sex Chats with Grandma
The Oxygen Network announced Sue Johanson's "Talk Sex" show has been cancelled. If you have never seen this show before then you have greatly missed out because it's amazing!!!! (And by amazing I mean educational and creepy since the 77 year old Canadian nurse looks like Old Mother Hubbard) I mean I'd still hit-it and quit-it but I'd have to close my eyes the whole time- well maybe just towards the end.
Sue says, "I'm going to miss playing with sex toys." We will miss her playing with toys too.
Dear Sue,
Whenever the wind blows and I have a butt-plug in my "hand" I'll think of you.
Love,
Bridget
TALKSEXCANCELLED
Sue says, "I'm going to miss playing with sex toys." We will miss her playing with toys too.
Dear Sue,
Whenever the wind blows and I have a butt-plug in my "hand" I'll think of you.
Love,
Bridget
TALKSEXCANCELLED
Sunday, May 4, 2008
BAM CONTEST!
If you watched this week's episode of BWB you saw how the BAM girl played with my sock monkey (random I know). Eden and Liz were nice enough to sign the monkey and if you want to WIN it AfterEllen is having a competition.
Here's how the contest works- click the below link and write to AE in 500 words or less (entries over 500 words will be disqualified, but shorter entries are fine), write in the comments below how you think the lesbian story line on All My Children contributed (positively or negatively) to lesbian visibility. Eden and Liz will read the entries and pick their favorite, and send the winner the sock monkey.
*Don't write anything to me- I have nothing to do with picking the winner.
Good luck!
BAMCONTEST
Here's how the contest works- click the below link and write to AE in 500 words or less (entries over 500 words will be disqualified, but shorter entries are fine), write in the comments below how you think the lesbian story line on All My Children contributed (positively or negatively) to lesbian visibility. Eden and Liz will read the entries and pick their favorite, and send the winner the sock monkey.
*Don't write anything to me- I have nothing to do with picking the winner.
Good luck!
BAMCONTEST
MADE OF SHIT starring Patrick Dempsey
This post is about upcoming film MADE OF HONOR starring Patrick Dempsey (GREY'S ANATOMY, and my fav film, CAN'T BUY ME LOVE) FYI-My love can be bought with a 1/2 pint of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food Frozen yogurt (with half the fat of the ice cream)
The premise of the "romantic comedy", MADE OF HONOR, is that Patrick Dempsey is in love with an engaged woman. Patrick tries to win the woman over after she asks him to be her maid of honor. So Patrick pretends to be helpful in planning this women's wedding but really tries to sabotage it in order to woo her away from her fiancee.
What a jackass! Patrick isn't made of honor he's made of SHIT!
I hate people that have their own agendas. Why can't he just be happy for his friend that entrusted him to be part of her wedding party? I think the bride's limo driver should run Patrick over before the ceremony begins.
That's it- I'm totally not going to invite Pat to MY wedding.
The premise of the "romantic comedy", MADE OF HONOR, is that Patrick Dempsey is in love with an engaged woman. Patrick tries to win the woman over after she asks him to be her maid of honor. So Patrick pretends to be helpful in planning this women's wedding but really tries to sabotage it in order to woo her away from her fiancee.
What a jackass! Patrick isn't made of honor he's made of SHIT!
I hate people that have their own agendas. Why can't he just be happy for his friend that entrusted him to be part of her wedding party? I think the bride's limo driver should run Patrick over before the ceremony begins.
That's it- I'm totally not going to invite Pat to MY wedding.
BRUNCH WITH BAM
Hi kiddies- the newest BWB has been posted and this week I lay down with the ALL MY CHILDREN girls, BAM, Elizabeth and Eden.
Not to spoil the surprise but they TOTALLY make out.
Enjoy!
BWBWITHBAM
Not to spoil the surprise but they TOTALLY make out.
Enjoy!
BWBWITHBAM
Thursday, May 1, 2008
VOTE FOR MY ASS ON LOGO!
Hi guys- I'm flying to NY for the New Now Next Awards on Logo and I need your help. I'm up for "Brink of Fame: Comic" Award and I need you to click the below link and vote for me...please :)
Thank you. :)
P.S. if you vote for me you automatically go to Heaven- I made a special arrangement with God. She already voted for me twice.
VOTEFORMEPLEASE
Thank you. :)
P.S. if you vote for me you automatically go to Heaven- I made a special arrangement with God. She already voted for me twice.
VOTEFORMEPLEASE
HOT 100 WOMEN
Every year around this time, the American men's magazines issue their annual "hot lists," which often feature women who leave us scratching our heads. (Lindsay Lohan? Paris Hilton?) So AfterEllen has their own Hot 100 list. Please click the below link and vote.
My vote is for Baby Bridget.
HOT100
My vote is for Baby Bridget.
HOT100
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