BRUNCH WITH GHOSTELLA HERSELF

In today's BRUNCH I'm in bed Ghostella's Haunted Tomb star Heidi Martinuzzi!

Heidi is the founder of Pretty-Scary.Net, a film site for women in horror, by women in horror.

With my assistance, Heidi gives a tutorial on shooting the infamous horror shower scene, explains why romantic comedies are just like slasher films and finally announces to the world that she is in fact GAY (even though she really isn't).

Confused? Then watch the episode figure it all out.

BWB GHOSTELLA'S HEIDI MARTINUZZI

Charlize Theron and I need everyone this Saturday!

This Saturday, May 30th, Charlize Theron and I will be attending Meet In the Middle 4 Equality and you should come too. The Courage Campaign is offering rides to the event so if you don't have a car than they will take your ass.

"Join the Courage Campaign and more than 100 other organizations at City Hall in Downtown Fresno from 1pm-4pm. People from across the country will be gathering in the middle of California- gay, bi, straight and you need to be there too.

California's Central Valley population is far more reflective of national attitudes towards LGBT equality— and until we engage the communities of Middle America, we will not achieve full equality in California.

This will be a moment you don't want to miss -- an unforgettable event in the history of the marriage equality movement." Courage Campaign

MEETINTHEMIDDLE


Charlize is so upset about the passing of Prop 8 that she can't get off the floor.

I'm slow

I just watched Ellen's commencement speech to Tulane University’s class of 2009. She spoke last week so I'm slow in my news reporting.

I found her speech to be inspiring so if you haven't watched it put aside 8 minutes and do so.

ellen common cement
by tehdownloads

BEST SERIES FINALE OF ALL TIME!

I miss Keith!

BRUNCH WITH ANNA MARGARITA ALBELO

Happy Sunday!

This week's BWB has been posted online. Baby Bridget and I play with Cuban-American miming polyglot director, Anna Margarita Albelo. She is the fabulous filmmaker who brought us A Lez in Wonderland, a comedy-documentary about the lesbian mecca that is the Dinah Shore weekend.

Check it out:

BWB Anna Albelo

I'm incapable of not ordering a tuna melt.

Today I ordered a tuna fish sandwich with cheese. The woman at the deli counter asked if I wanted a tuna melt to which I replied, "Sure." I sat down at a table and waited for my sandwich to get made and then remembered:

I HATE TUNA MELTS! What the hell is wrong with me?

There is something really creepy about warm tuna fish and warm mayonnaise.

My loving wife went to the rescue and tried to have them fix it but they didn't seem to understand
that cheese on a sandwich didn't have to be melted. They offered to either
give me the sandwich cold without cheese or give me the original tuna melt. Having the cheese
unmelted wasn't an option.

In the end my lunch sucked it and I still have no idea why I agreed to a sandwich that I hated in
the first place.

Happy lunching!

Birthday Sex

Today on the radio I heard a new song by the artist, Jeremith called Birthday Sex.
It takes a lot to shock me and for some reason this song did it. I had the vision of a little
girl blowing out her birthday candles, wishing for a pony and then being offered birthday
sex instead.

Sex should be an everyday event. Not a birthday present. Stop being so cheap Jeremith
and buy your girlfriend some jewelry for her special day!

I'm on FUNNY OR DIE!

Hi Kiddies!

The next installment of GHOSTELLA has been posted on FUNNYORDIE.COM. Yes, director Stacie Ponder is back in effect with her B-rate horror films and first up is the trailer for the upcoming feature, DEADLY DRESS 4: NEVER A BRIDE.

New characters must die as this deadly dress haunts the land but before there is bloodshed please go on the FOD website and vote that this video is "FUNNY".

DD4 stars Lena Headey, Bobbi Sue Luther, Heidi Martinuzzi and the one and only, Karman Kregloe as "the reporter"... oh, and me. I'm in it too.

Enjoy....

Deadly Dress 4

DEADLY DRESS 4: NEVER A BRIDE trailer - watch more funny videos

Breakup Jewelry

Thanks to the wonderful Bravo network I just saw an AWESOME commercial for a company that buys breakup jewelry so you can make money and move on with your life.

Wanna sell your ring from your broken engagement? Unload the earrings your ex-girlfriend bought you?

Then go to: OUTOFYOURLIFE.COM

The company's concept is really smart it's just a little heartless.

The actress in the commercial was selling buckets of jewelry and she made so much money that she was reading through travel brochures. Apparently, she was going to travel the world with all her jewelry money. If you have that much jewelry to sell your main focus shouldn't be on getting rid of it, instead you should be focused on getting rid of all your STDs.

RIP Ashley Olsen's career.

Ashley Olsen announced that she is retiring from acting...I know, I'm sad too.

I'm not sure how I can rebound from this devastating news but I'm going to try and keep trucking and eat a veggie burger for lunch. Wow, it's 3 o'clock already? Why haven't I had lunch yet?

Well, if Ashley needs a new career she could always go into incestuous lesbian porn. (see disturbing picture below) wtf?

Ashley Olsen is a quitter

Double Hand Transplant?

A few days ago my favorite website, CNN.COM, posted a news report about a 57-year-old Georgia resident who underwent the first double hand transplant in the United States.

2 hand transplants? I didn't even know that one hand could be transplanted, did you?

Hand transplants, heart transplants, brain surgery...with all the research and technology that has been developed in the last 50 years why are the little things still overlooked?

Like the massive amounts of disgusting pretzels that invade all the yummy bags of Chex Mix or that I can never get cell phone service in Beverly Hills, California!

The cnn.com story is very inspiring but the opening sentence to the article is a little odd, "Jeff Kepner just wanted to hold his 13-year-old daughter's hand".... umm that's kinda creepy.

I love my dad but I don't need to hold his hand. Well, at least not long term.

If you have two hands please applaud Jeff Kepner, his successful surgeries and the doctors that made this all possible.

Hand TransplantS (yes plural)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

I case you missed it, Justin Timberlake reprised his Dick in a Box role on SNL last night and created the below
masterpiece.

If you are lucky enough to still have your mother, call her and wish her a Happy Mother's Day.

BINGO!

Hi guys! Tomorrow I'll be calling BINGO at Hamburger Mary's in West Hollywood. Big prizes will be given out including caribbean cruise for two!

Come play!!!
Location: Hamburger Mary's
8288 Santa Monica Blvd (at Sweetzer)
West Hollywood, CA 90046
Valet parking available

Dinner: Guests have the option to arrive at 6:00 p.m. for dinner. Call (323) 654-3800.
Best bingo seating for dinner guests.
(You must mention Women On A Roll or Lesbo Bingo, or they will not take your reservation).

Bingo: $25 Suggested Donation (Includes 10 games of Bingo hosted by the fabulous Belle Aire -- nine regular games and one grand prize game. Does not include food and beverage.)
In honor of mother's day, a portion of the proceeds will benefit Sojourn Services for Battered Women and their Children.
AT THE DOOR: Don't have advance reservations? Come anyway! Walk up admission available starting Sunday at 6:30 p.m.

I'm signing up for a pole dancing class IMMEDIATELY!!!

After watching this video I have decided to sign up for a pole dancing class. Only for the artistic merit, of course.

p.s. My wife approves of my continued education.

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Happy Friday!!!

Brought to you by:

AWKWARD FAMILY PHOTOS.COM

Send out your mail IMMEDIATELY!

I went to the post office today to purchase a book of pretty stamps (I'm vain when it comes to my postage). When I asked the teller for a book he automatically handed me some generic liberty bell stamps which were not to my liking. I asked to see a variety of stamps and he responded "We don't have anymore since the stamp rate is going up starting this Monday."

What? Again? Didn't the rate just go up? Can you say government conspiracy? Can I ask a few more questions in this blog???

So if you have anything to mail send out before the weekend is over or else you'll have to pay the new higher rate. And use up your liberty bells. Ding. Dong.

Share the Love: Part 1

I recently watched a terribly disappointing movie and I when I sat down to write a review I realized that being negative and criticizing other people's work is bad karma.

So instead I've made a list of 5 things that make me happy today:

#1 Maine legalizing gay marriage.
#2 Zoccos Italian Restaurant in Windsor, CT who recently catered my wedding reception.
#3 Ice packs. I hurt my shoulder snowboarding and they have been very helpful in my healing.
#4 Christmas ornaments. They always make me smile.
#5 Judge Marilyn Milian of People's Court. I almost always agree with her rulings because she's fair and rad.



p.s. I'll be writing a stern review of X-Men Origins: Wolverine shortly. :)

HOUSE OF PAIN

Do you remember the 1992 classic JUMP AROUND by HOUSE OF PAIN? Well I forgot about it until today when I turned on the radio and heard 8 counts of the song and then switched to another station that was also playing it.

WTF? Who is requesting this song in the year 2009?

Below is the video so you can share my pain, my "house of pain"...ok that was bad.

House of Pain - Jump Around
Uploaded by crunk_ship

MY CHERRYGRRL INTERVIEW

Hi kiddies! I was interview by the lovely cherrygrrl.com and the article has just been posted.

In the interview I talk about Miss California's anti-gay views and my dad's teary toast at my belated wedding reception.

Check it out and leave comment if you like: (hopefully a nice one)

CHERRYGRRL INTERVIEW

NEWEST BRUNCH WITH SICK OF SARAH'S FRONTWOMAN

Question: Why am I up at 1am when I'm supposed to be snowboarding in 6 hours?

Answer: To write this blog, apparently.

My newest BWB has just been posted and this week I interview the lead singer for the all female band SICK OF SARAH, Abisha Uhl.

I'm lucky enough to have SICK OF SARAH's song NOT LISTENING as the theme song to my show.

Uhl, who just might be the coolest fucking person in the world, performs two songs from SOS's sophomore album, dishes on being a rockstar and spits on me...just another day at the office.

SICK OF SARAH

SPAGHETTI RAGE

Tonight I had dinner with the SHARK VS. BEAR crew and we had some rad italian food.

The only problem was when my pasta dish arrived it was spaghetti. I'm not a spaghetti fan, in fact spaghetti is my second least favorite pasta. My least favorite is gnocchi.

Ok, gnocchi isn't a pasta it's potato but I still fucking hate it!

My favorite pasta is penne. mmm...penne.

So when my meal arrived I was greatly disappointed to see the long wormy noodles instead of the magical ribbed tubes.

There was a selection of pastas on the menu and when the waiter took my order he didn't ask which kind of pasta I wanted and I didn't specify so I guess it was just assumed that I wanted spaghetti.

So my question to the world is:

Why is spaghetti the go-to pasta?

I can't stop thinking about...

Today, all day, I couldn't stop thinking about Christopher Walken's acting in HAIRSPRAY. I didn't particularly enjoy the film but Mr. Walken, who played Wilbur Turnblad, made me believe that he actually loved being married to John Travolta, who played his wife.

This is just a random thought that I couldn't get out of my head all day and needed to share.

Kudos Mr. Walken, kudos!