(*Graphic Pictures Enclosed- PROCEED WITH CAUTION)
If you don't know by now I'm the most accident prone person in the world. Yesterday while getting a chai tea latte at a coffee shop I decided to quickly use the restroom before continuing my work day. In California it is a law that public restrooms must have toilet seat covers (thank God!). As I reached for a cover my finger got sliced in half by the metal dispenser. Blood went everywhere as I attempted to pull up my white pants and rush out of the restroom for help. The cut was so bad I immediately felt weak and knew I needed stitches.
I sat at the coffee bar with the waitress and called my friend who was close by and asked her to take me to the local Urgent Care.
Four stitches later I have a fabulously huge bandage and a medical bill that I'm guessing will be around $300. Actually... I bet that shit is more than $300- fuck!
The best part was the doctor asked me what I did for a living and I said I was a comedian.
He responded with "In real life?". I told him "No, just in the cartoon world." Then he proceeded to name drop all the celebrities he had worked on during his medical career. Apparently, Al Franken got a sprained ankle while playing basketball at Paramont Studios.
I hope the stitches get to come out before the New Now Next Awards.
By the way if you haven't voted for the Awards yet, please click these links to vote for me and my bloody finger:
(You can vote as many times as your little hearts desire)