This weekend I went out to breakfast with my "lady friend" in Beverly Hills. While dining I started telling a dramatic story and flailing my arms (I'm a flailer). I reached my double jointed arm backwards and clawed at the air like a velociraptor - except it wasn't the air it was a man's balls. An innocent man was making his way back to his table from the restroom and his balls walked right into my grabbing hands. We both freaked out and he scurried back to his table.
Days later I'm still shocked and concerned that my right hand is now bisexual. Either way I will accept my right hand with open arms.
p.s. THANK GOD I'M A LEFTY!!!