Monday, June 9, 2008

I squeezed a man's balls for breakfast

This weekend I went out to breakfast with my "lady friend" in Beverly Hills. While dining I started telling a dramatic story and flailing my arms (I'm a flailer). I reached my double jointed arm backwards and clawed at the air like a velociraptor - except it wasn't the air it was a man's balls. An innocent man was making his way back to his table from the restroom and his balls walked right into my grabbing hands. We both freaked out and he scurried back to his table.

Days later I'm still shocked and concerned that my right hand is now bisexual. Either way I will accept my right hand with open arms.

Bridget

p.s. THANK GOD I'M A LEFTY!!!

raptor-1

9 comments:

Loucritia13 said...

I think you just made me realize why I am a lesbian!

Many, many years ago, when my beloved grandmother tried to ride a bicycle for the first time, she didn't know how to use the brakes and she ended between the legs of some unlucky guy, crashing his balls with the front wheel!

A few years later, my mother was telling a joke to a friend and while she was reenacting a funny move that an old classmate of hers used to do with his hands, she accidentally punched another unlucky guy, who was passing by at the moment, in his balls!

I now realise that all this "subconsious aggression towards balls" got in the family DNA, made it through the generations and I am
the result of that! Damn! I should
have become a biologist!

(I'm only kidding of course, I have nothing against balls! I just like pussy! :-P )

Claudia said...

lol, luckily that has never happened to me, but I have had some flailing-related accidents that have been really embarrassing too...
We don't judge your right arm Bridget!

happyyellowwoman said...

Ewwwwwww! Poor Bridget. Thank goodness you're a lefty indeed! If it makes you feel better, this entry has been the only good (well, entertaining...sorry about your hand) thing in my really crappy day so far. And it's only 9:30am EST.

Natazzz said...

*Snicker* Thank you for that.

Hadasee said...

oiy

MK1709 said...

aww... Poor Bridgets right hand... *grins*

pyewacket said...

Well, that's different. I usually squeeze some orange juice for breakfast. But to each their own.

*shrugs*

But if you are worried about your right hand, maybe you could stop flailing for awhile until you can send it off to one of those camps where they shame it into being gay again. You know that kind of bisexual nonsense talk would make Jesus puke!

:P

TheWeyrd1 said...

snort...wiping my eyes...snicker...omg... So how did your "lady friend" react to this situation???

Lisa said...

You are not right? And that's what I like about you!