Monday, September 8, 2008

FU, F.O.T.G!

Tonight I watched the 1976 sci-fi horror film Food of the Gods (F.O.T.G) so I could participate in the fabulous Final Girl's film club. Just one glance at the amazingly bad dvd cover and I was ready to go!

Food of The Gods

Giant rats, enormous killer chickens and evil wasps!!! Now that's my kinda movie.

The film begins with a voice-over from Morgan, a professional football player/ horseback riding MacGyver. Morgan quotes his father's wise words on the upcoming animal apocalypse. When my dad and I talk it's usually about my mom or the condition of his front lawn.

Morgan and his friends head to a small Canadian island for some harmless deer hunting. All of a sudden one of the guys gets attacked by a swarm of giant wasps and when I write giant I mean GINORMOUS PLASTIC BUGS! Morgan hears his screams in the woods and discovers his friend swollen from the stings and covered in neon orange fake blood...soooo scary...

Morgan goes to find help at a near by farm but no one is home so it only makes sense to go snooping around inside the barn. But be careful Morgan because the barn is inhabited by ENORMOUS KILLER CHICKENS! (This bit was totally stolen from the 1970 Italian creature feature, La Cosa Nei Boschi.)

What has Morgan gotten himself into? Why didn't he just stay on the football field? And why is a professional football player wrestling with large chickens in the first place? Wait, sorry, there are too many questions that will never be answered.

Don't worry, Morgan escapes the killer chickens and finds the an elderly woman in the farm house. Introduce: Mrs. Skinner, who I nicknamed Country Suzy. Country Suzy is an old whack job religious freak that tells Morgan that God is the one who made the animals big. cuckoo cuckoo

Country Suzy shows off her husband's supply of gooey goo that he found bubbling in their back yard. Not to confuse that goo with their other supply of goo, God's goo is put into jars and labeled F.O.T.G. Country Suzy is BRILLIANT!
We soon find out that when Country Suzy feeds the animals God's goo it makes them huge and really pissed off.

The movie has everything a bad movie needs:
-A suicidal pregnant women.
-Rats that pop through windows like a game of Whack a Mole.
-A flat tire in a thunderstorm.
-A female bacteriologist (yes I said bacteriologist).
-Country Suzy dies fighting a rat with an axe.

gods3-1
Then the big crescendo of baddassness comes during the final fight scene. The rats have swarmed the house, the pregnant woman is about to explode with a baby and then the bacteriologist turns to Morgan and says, she wants to MAKE LOVE. (WHAT!!!!!!!!) And the best part is Morgan turns her down. This is way too awesome for words.

I would encourage you all to see this bad bad bad movie but during the rat fight scenes the rats really looked like they were getting injured. So I googled the movie and found out that during the making numerous animals were abused and killed. Rats were shot and drowned. This makes no sense because all because the effects were so ridiculously fake except for the animal torture scenes. Therefore I HATE this movie and you should too.

But first please read Final Girls review and send her some lovely feedback but seriously don't rent this movie because I don't want you to support animal torture like I unwittingly did.

5 comments:

Hadas said...

Wait, is HG Wells the guy who founded scientology? If it is i feel like that explains a lot.

Edilma said...

Is the big chicken named Cocky??? hahahahahah.

Natazzz said...

I heart this movie...it's awesome even if it did not have a female bacteriologist who wants to have sex at inappropriate times.

Stacie Ponder said...

I just love that there's a label for "Country Suzy". I hope it ends up attached to many, many posts.

tudiefruit111 said...

lol, love your review, but this is one of my all-time favorite AWFUL movies. Saw it when it came out in 1970's, before it was envogue to be offended at killing animals during the filming of movies (so Imma take a pass when I watch it, lol), although I totally agree w/your stance.

Whomever asked NO H.G. Wells is NOT the founding Father of Scientology, he is the Time Machine guy. I think that guys name was Ron L. Hubbard. Don't quote me on that, however as I don't follow scientology, ask Tom Cruise. lol