Sunday, April 18, 2010

Don't Worry, Be Happy

This week I've had some amazing accomplishments. I booked and shot my first national commercial, which will be airing in the next few weeks and I'm currently in a beautiful hotel room in Kentucky where I performed last night for an amazing group of woman. So why do I feel depressed today?

Ever since I was a child I have always excessively criticized myself and got very use to feeling sad the majority of the time. I know my feelings aren't "real" they are just part of story I've created to somehow fill an empty void. But even though I know there is nothing really wrong with me or my life, why do I still feel sad?

If any of you feel bad and in search of happiness you most definitely are not alone.

Below is a link to view the amazing (and annoying) Bobby McFerrin classic, Don't Worry Be Happy. Life is too short to be sad all time.

Don't Worry Be Happy
p.s. Bobby put a shirt on.


Dalice711 said...

I'm sorry to say, I know exactly what ur talking about.I am convinced that it does have alot to do with my sexuality. There's a profound sadness to knowing I am different & it sometimes leaves me with a sense of lonliness. In reality, I am not.

I've had the most fun one could have without being independently wealthy or breaking any big laws. But,I still envy ppl who have and express their inner peace. I can honestly say, part of mine is missing. Living that way is something I've learned to adapt to for many years and I still can't put my finger on exactly what it is I'm missing. It's intangible,it seems.

I can't say,Bridget,if this is how you feel but I can say,for me, that I believe it is part&parcel of being born lesbian/bisexual.

Thankfully, not all of us experience unidentified feelings of sadness relating to our sexuality. I am in no way grouping us all together.

Bridget, you're beautiful,sexy and most of all funny as hell (not to mention u hav a great wife). You have a gift that u share. What could be better! Next time ur feeling sad just pick up the phone and call me!...LOL...don't let the 'sad' sucker punch you,girl!

KIM said...

Lucky for me I found the Best Therapist in the U.S. 10 years ago. And now I also take Effexor for my Social Anxiety and Depression. So I feel great, happy and positive every day! Sure I feel down here and there, but I have learned I can control my mind and my negative thoughts. The hard part is having the persistence and courage to find the right therapist, but once you do, it just gets better and better!

KIM said...

P.S. - finding an anti depressant & anti anxiety drug that actually regulates your serotonin and neo-serotonin levels is easier IF you have a relative who is taking a certain drug, and its working great for them, with minimal side effects (since genetically, you are linked!). Anyway, its really just a choice : to continue to feel bad, depressed, or to choose to feel good and positive. Its up to each person how they choose to live their life.

cristina cornejo said...

I couldn't agree more with you Dalice711 in the last paragraph.
Some days when I wake up I just feel like there's something wrong or missing in my life, but I can't figure out what it is. This makes me sad and anxious. Unconsciously I started eating every time I felt this way. When I noticed the extra pounds that I was gaining, I changed from sweets, to vegetables and fruits. But I continued eating, even if I wasn’t hungry. I tried to diminish the food I ate. I ended biting my nails instead, to replace what I wasn’t having. It was more like a necessity to have something in my mouth, than to really needing the food. I remember that when I was in high school I used to chew the top of my pens, because I couldn’t eat in class. I destroyed so many pens, and I still do. This year I began chewing gum to stop me from eating my nails or pens, but it is “impossible”.
Now that I’m a little bit older, I started to realize that my anxiety was caused by the constant fighting of my parents in front of me and the many threats of my mother of getting a divorce. Luckily they continue together, but they keep fighting, although they do it with less frequency. They always fight over money not being enough for paying the school for my sisters, and my college career (Med-School is not cheap. Even though I got like a discount, it continues to be expensive), and also over them not being able to be at home to help my sisters with their homework. That’s where the other reason for me being depressed and anxious comes from.
They’re pressuring me to come back early from class to be here with my sisters. And I’m always telling them that that’s not my problem those aren’t my kids, and that I don’t have time. Med-School requires a lot of time and commitment. And also my sisters have learned a lot of my parents. They’re constantly fighting and yelling at each other which gets annoying within a few minutes. The worst part is that my parents spoiled them, and they won’t listen to anyone, not even to my parents. So whenever I try to tell them to stop yelling and fighting, they’ll just ignore me. (“THAT’S A VERY GOOD REASON FOR NOT WANTING TO HAVE KIDS”)
Another reason is their constant disappointment at everything that I have ever done. Nothing is good enough for them. I was the best student of my high school, and just because I had 1 B they were like I’ve never had a B in my life I was straight A’s. And I just hate that they’re comparing me. “I am me, I’m not them” what part of it they don’t get?
That stuff created in my mind a negative thinking about me. Now everything I do is never enough for me. And that makes me feel even worse.
I was considering changing my career because my real passions are music and acting. But here in Ecuador acting and music sucks. Since I lost my visa I can’t go to the U.S.A. and study, which was kind of my goal. Also I feel like I will disappoint my grandfather if I drop out of med-school, because I’m the first in the family to study the same that he did. None of his 6 children studied medicine and when I told him that I wanted to study medicine he felt really excited and proud of me and that made me feel great. Now that I’ve finished my first year of med-school I realize that I like music and acting much more than medicine and I was thinking of dropping out but every time I’m going to do it I remember my grandpa and back out. I’ve always been his favorite grandchild so I don’t want to disappoint him. So I was considering finishing med-school and then study arts. That probably be in about 10 years, but I still have plenty of time, since I’m only 19.
PS: Sorry for writing this much I just let it all out without even noticing how much I was writing. Thanks for your patience.

Dalice711 said...

Hi Christina, even I feel better for you after reading your post! It's good to get things off your chest.
I think you'll find as you get older, that your goals may change & hopefully you'll feel less and less guilty about making those changes.

Whatever you decide, I believe you must love what you choose in order to be happy with that aspect of your life. Sometimes, you just have to live your life despite the misconception of disappointing others. There's too much guilt that we carry into adulthood as it is. And, that can't be good for our 'inner peace'.

I wish you the best, Christina.

I feel like we're on Dr.Bridget's website for the saddened. I'm surprised there are not more people!!! lol...

leeeah said...
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cristina cornejo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cristina cornejo said...

thanks dalice711. it feels nice to have someone that listens to you and respond something coherent. I've talked to my bff and we always end up talking about her
sometimes i feel like my actual age isn't right for my mental age. i think that's why i don't hang out too much with people my age, they don't have the same maturity level as i do. i can't have a conversation with them without being interrupted by gossiping about the person that just passed near us. it's just impossible. can't ever mention world problems to them. they only care about their bubble world. everything outside of it is just uninteresting to them. That's why i talk so much more to people older than me...

it really feels like we're in a group therapy session... with Dr. Bridget hahaha... she'll be like Patch Adams, making you laugh to cheer you!!!

Ps: thanks for listening (or reading w/e hehe), and sorry for the randomness

The Proper Bostonian said...

Hey Bridget, it's been a while since I last read your blog and I'm glad to see you are so busy with new and exciting projects!!

you deserve it! as I once wrote to you, you are an inspiration for many women and an amazing lady!


and btw this song it TOTALLY annoying!

Dalice711 said...

so sorry Cristina (for spelling ur name wrong).

cristina cornejo said...

It's ok... I'm planning on changing the well spelled form...haha

Ex-Fundie said...

Several months ago, I was having a hard time accepting myself & who I was. Somehow, I stumbled onto a little show called "Brunch with Bridget" It was very helpful seeing a wide variety of women in an upbeat, candid manner. It introduced me to a whole online community, LOGO & AfterEllen. You'll probably never know how much laughing at your show helped me to understand that's it's ok..and gasp...NORMAL to be gay. Thank you!