I'm using this blog for therapy since my next session isn't until next week. :)
I eat in private.
Since I was a child I have hid food all over my house and if I wasn't seen eating the food then the calories it didn't count (which of course is not true but I still believed it).
Tonight I found myself hunting for chocolate in my kitchen which I intentionally stock with no sweets. My wife was on the phone talking with my mother so I considered sneaking out of the house to walk down to the drug store to get some candy. Since I try to hide my eating I didn't want to risk being caught sneaking out of the house so instead I hunted for candy until I found a dried up "chocolate" flavored protein health bar in the way far back of one of my cabinets. The bar was no longer chewy or sweet but I ate it anyway. After eating the bar I felt better and guilty at the same time.
I have gained and lost 50 pounds three different times in my life. Even though this time I've keep the weight off for going on 7 years I still struggle everyday.