Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Performing at the Improv was like losing my virginity to a one night stand

On Sunday, May 27, 2007 I achieved one of my lifetime goals- I performed at the Hollywood Improv.

The Improv is the comedy home to such great comics as Chris Rock, Jerry Seinfield, Ellen Degeneres, Jay Leno, Andy Kufman etc... Surprisingly I wasn't nervous- just really excited. The stage is medium sized with a piano taking up almost the entire right hand side of the stage- why isn't it in storage? I have been to many shows at the Improv and no one has touched that piano except Sarah Silverman who laid on top of it.

The crowd was about 2/3 filled and the energy in the room was calm. I faired very well getting lots of laughs from the heterosexuals and my core homos in the audience. And once I finished I walked off stage- the applauds died down- I went into the back of the crowd to watch the headliner perform and I realized- "Wow I did it...and it was so anticlimactic."

Don't get me wrong it was an amazing opportunity and I am very very grateful to add that venue to my resume but FUCK the experience reminded me of my freshman year of college when I lost my virginity to a one night stand.

All the girls on my dorm floor had boyfriends and took birth control at the exact same time (6pm every night their watches would beep to remind them and they'd scatter to their rooms to take their pills) I was completely left out since my virginity was still in tack. But to prove my friendship a few months into the semester I found a phrat boy that all my friend approved of and I did it- I had sex- I was no longer a virgin. The boy left in the middle of the night, no orgasms were had and he never spoke to me again. But I didn't care because now I could synchronize my watch with the girls and take birth control with them at 6pm. When I told the girls my great news they shunned me since I didn't lose my virginity to someone I loved. "How could I- it's such a special thing".

TIME OUT- Who made up the rule that sex has to be special? Sex didn't hurt and it wasn't pleasurable but it did feel like a right of passage.

So I did it- and now I had that on my resume- NO LONGER A VIRGIN. And I could go on to have better sex with better boys that I truly cared about- HAHA- obviously we know how silly that seems now.

But like my virginity I took the plunge and concurred the Improv and now I stride for bigger and better stage experiences to come.


No comments: