Sunday, December 23, 2007

WHAT A WASTE!

In my sickness, today I was on the phone with a friend telling her about an incident that happened at a holiday party last week. I wondered why I didn't blog about it before but then I remembered that I didn't want to blog about negative things..oops... too late.

At the party my straight male friend introduced me to a group of straight men. My friend said- "Isn't she hot for a lesbian?" (I guess that was supposed to be a compliment but it wasn't). One of the men said "Wow you're gay? Are you sure? Well if you are than that's such a waste!"

I thought- Yes! I am a complete waste! Waste waste waste- my body, my mind, my soul, my entire existence in this universal has been a waste because this man's 3 inch cock will never be inside of me... for what I'm guessing would last about 35 seconds.

I told the man that he was rude and should think before he spoke to people (That's sounds like a scolding from someone's Nana) but it's actually what I said to him. He responded "It was a compliment!"

Funny, I thought compliments were more like:


"What a nice jacket you are wearing"

OR

"Dinner is lovely! Thank you for inviting me over"

NOT

"Damn it's a shame I can't ram you with my penis."

I just wanted to spread some more holiday cheer before Jesus' big day! Have a wonderful holiday!!!

Bridget

p.s. I bought Jesus an assortment of tube socks for his bday- should I get him something else?

horizon_tube_sock

7 comments:

Laurie Anne said...

Hi, I haven't posted here before but I think you are so funny! Anyway, all I can say to that kind of comment from a guy is "EWW!" What is wrong with people? PS-- Love those tube socks, they are just Jesus' style :)

Cunty McFucklesticks said...

If you're not using them, could I have the disembodied legs sans socks?

Chax said...

I think straight people have a fixation with the word "HOMOSEXUAL". They tend to tag us by the person we choose to hold hands. Aren't we smart? hard workers? have values? loyal? NO, WE ARE JUST GAY!
Then who's right and who's wrong?
The world is simply up-side-down!!!

CINDY said...

Too bad for the heteros. We've got you all to ourselves to lust after... and I do mean lust after

(¯`·.¸»Fai«¸.·´¯) said...

I don't think I've laughed that hard at a blog post.. ever! You put to words what every woman feels when she hears that generic 'waste' comment from some new douche bag.. Keep up the amazing work!

Meghan said...

You should have said what you were thinking. I think they all could have used that dose of reality. You're fucking hysterical. Fucking Awesome.

Meghan said...
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