Performing at the Improv was like losing my virginity to a one night stand

On Sunday, May 27, 2007 I achieved one of my lifetime goals- I performed at the Hollywood Improv.

The Improv is the comedy home to such great comics as Chris Rock, Jerry Seinfield, Ellen Degeneres, Jay Leno, Andy Kufman etc... Surprisingly I wasn't nervous- just really excited. The stage is medium sized with a piano taking up almost the entire right hand side of the stage- why isn't it in storage? I have been to many shows at the Improv and no one has touched that piano except Sarah Silverman who laid on top of it.

The crowd was about 2/3 filled and the energy in the room was calm. I faired very well getting lots of laughs from the heterosexuals and my core homos in the audience. And once I finished I walked off stage- the applauds died down- I went into the back of the crowd to watch the headliner perform and I realized- "Wow I did it...and it was so anticlimactic."

Don't get me wrong it was an amazing opportunity and I am very very grateful to add that venue to my resume but FUCK the experience reminded me of my freshman year of college when I lost my virginity to a one night stand.

All the girls on my dorm floor had boyfriends and took birth control at the exact same time (6pm every night their watches would beep to remind them and they'd scatter to their rooms to take their pills) I was completely left out since my virginity was still in tack. But to prove my friendship a few months into the semester I found a phrat boy that all my friend approved of and I did it- I had sex- I was no longer a virgin. The boy left in the middle of the night, no orgasms were had and he never spoke to me again. But I didn't care because now I could synchronize my watch with the girls and take birth control with them at 6pm. When I told the girls my great news they shunned me since I didn't lose my virginity to someone I loved. "How could I- it's such a special thing".

TIME OUT- Who made up the rule that sex has to be special? Sex didn't hurt and it wasn't pleasurable but it did feel like a right of passage.

So I did it- and now I had that on my resume- NO LONGER A VIRGIN. And I could go on to have better sex with better boys that I truly cared about- HAHA- obviously we know how silly that seems now.

But like my virginity I took the plunge and concurred the Improv and now I stride for bigger and better stage experiences to come.

Bridget

2 shows tomorrow night

In preparation of my 2 shows tomorrow night I had my head shots retaken and met with my comedy teacher to freshen up my comedy set. Both were successful and I'm exhausted.
I'm off to bed where I will dream of winning tomorrow's comedy competition at the Icehouse....ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

p.s. I met Demetri Martin on Sunday at brunch- it was a small dream to met him cuz I think he's rad. He was very nice and made me feel like a grownup comic. :)

Bridget

Make Me Feel Better....

I've decided to use this blog as my daily diary- but knowing me I won't post a blog every day- I have far too many important things to do like make a tuna-fish sandwiches...yum yum.

Today, like so many other days finds me completely distraught over my comedy career and I feel like quitting and never getting on stage again. I invite all you readers to join my pity party (cocktails are on the upper deck) or a better yet welcome to my "kicking the kittens day". Now before PETA writes me - I don't really hurt animals, I don't eat meat, I don't wear leather (not even sneakers) and the only pussy I have ever hurt was my girlfriend's and she insisted on the roughness. Ok- now I'm just getting off track.

Anyway- I feel like crap today. Last night my comedy routine was criticized by a woman who said "all gay comedians complain about being gay and that's all they ever talk about". I lost my mind when I heard this and went all Rosie the Riveter on her ass- meaning I insistently started welding metal since my husband was at War. (too bad Rosie was make-believe and wore that stereotypical lesbian bandana- why couldn't she be dressed in a nice sweater set from Banana Republic?- BR has sizes that will fit Rosie's strong large fictional arms)

I went on the defense explaining to that ignorant woman that as comics we talk about our lives and what we know. Being "gay" is part of a gay comic's life. The woman then told me I should write a joke about what my mom did wrong while I was in the womb and subsequently caused me to be the defected homosexual that I am today.

It was a good time had by all.

I think they are accepting applications at Starbucks....