Performing in the Boonies

I had a show in Covina, California last night.

Wait, what did I say? Covina? Where the FUCK is Covina?

EXACTLY MY POINT!

I decided in my head beforehand that Covina was a town that had no running water and ate their own young, alas I was wrong. They have lots of running water, that's how they flush the babies' bones and hide them from the cops.

Anyway, I took this gig and performed in the boonies of Covina, CA in a "yocal" bar. These venues are always great and terrible at the same time. The great part is no one has heard of me and/or my jokes before, so I'm brilliant and new- like a shining penny. The terrible thing is when I get off stage the audience has no boundaries and they feel like they can attack me verbally, emotionally and even physically. I have been very fortunate in all the nights I have been doing comedy that no one has truly hurt me but it is difficult standing on stage every-night with only a mic and a dangling wire to protect you when you "out" yourself in front of a crowd full of breeders. I have had shows where some of the audience has shut down on me as soon as I announce that I'm gay. My objective as a comic is to make people laugh not to upset them.

I made a lot of friends at last night's show and I would absolutely go back to Covina and that particular venue but I could go without the chanting of the word "LESBIAN" as I walk to my car at the end of the night.

Love,
Bridget

Arm Pits

I'm in Chicago shooting WANTED with Universal and it's hot and muggy here. My armpits stink.... that's all I really wanted to say.


(From August 7th, 2007)

MY HEART WILL GO ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON

Two months ago I was home on a Friday night and I decided to stay in and paint my bedroom mushroom tan. Exciting I know- but I had no idea what I was in store for. At 10:38pm Coast Radio Station played the mother-load of all songs: Celine Dion' s "My Heart Will Go On" from the film Titanic. Jesus Christ! I almost swallowed the entire gallon of paint in shock that is song was legitimately playing on the radio.

The 1997 release of Titanic changed all our lives for the better, for the worse or not at all. On its 10th Anniversary I would like to provide you with the lyrics and a photo from the Academy Award winning film.

I will never let go Jack...I'll.....Never....Let.......GOOOOOO

Bridget

p.s. I'm letting go now.

Every night in my dreams
I see you. I feel you.
That is how I know you go on.

Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on.

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never let go till we're gone

Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold to
In my life we'll always go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

There is some love that will not
go away

You're here, there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

(FROM: July 13th 2007)

Introduction to Blogging

I must admit I'm a poser blogger. I've tried to keep up this blog but I get distracted especially when there is a sandwich around that I must eat...mmm...sandwiches...

This blog is dedicated to my new BFF Arlan who told me to make her a mixed tape. This is my actual response to her request which I felt needed to be shared with the world:

"I love the idea of making a mixed tape- it brings back memories of eating double stuff oreos, drinking NewYork seltzer and secretly watching Dirty Dancing in the basement- my mom wouldn't let me watch it because of the "sex scene"---(there was no real fucking sex scene in that movie)

Wouldn't it have been awesome if when the final dance was over in that movie, before the credits rolled, Baby busted out Parick Swayzes' dick on the dance floor and started sucking him off- I'd understand why I couldn't watch the movie then."

I wish I was a pervy 12 year old again- being a pervy 27 year old just isn't the same....

Love,
Bridget

(FROM: July 12th, 2007)