Saturday, January 5, 2008

Apparently I read too much

I love books and for Christmas a bunch of people gave me books as gifts. Which was wonderful except every book I received I already owned.

Which mean either three things:

1. I am super-duper smart and I have read all the books in the entire world.

2. There is a shortage of writers in the world and I read faster than they can type.

3. My friends and family know me really well and picked out obvious choices on books that I would like.

I'm sure it's 3 but I really wish it was 1.

Anyway if you're looking to buy me a book don't buy me the following because I already own it:

-Fun Home
-Beyond Fear
-Notes on a Scandal
-Boys Like Her
-The Inner Game of Tennis
-Hooking Up: You'll Never Sleep in this Town Again Again
-The Battle for God
-I Know This Much is True (** great book by my favorite author)
-Self-Made Man (I now own 3 copies of this- stop buying it for me)
-The Four Agreements
-The War of the Worlds
-Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
-The Lesbian Karma Sutra (can never have too many copies of this book)
-4 Step Vegetarian
-As Nature Made Him
-The French Coursebook
-Prozac Nation (hated it- if I wanted to hear someone bitch I'd call my mom on the phone)
-Tipping the Velvet (Amazing)
-The Second City Almanac
-Comedy Writing Workbook
-The Comedy Bible
-Born Standing Up
-Stock Investing for Dummies (I'm still too dumb to invest)
-Sock Monkey Goes to Hollywood
-Breasts (thank for you this amazing gift Joni)
-Couldn't Keep it to Myself
-She's Come Undone (I swear this book is my fucking life story)
-Medicine Cards
-Life's A Campaign (Chris Matthews, why are you so obvious?)
-The Da Vinci Code (ok I'm lying- I have the cds that I played in my car)
-The Secret (yes I'm a lamo)
-Alfred Hitchcock:A Life in Darkness and Light
-The Zahir (BRILLIANT)
-Comedy Writing Step By Step
-The Zen Art of Stand Up
-Rush Limbaugh is an Idiot
-Brokeback Mountain (yes I'm that gay)
-The Italian Coursebook
-Harry Potter 1 (I couldn't even get through it- I just don't get it hoopla but I love the films)
-Lord of the Rings
-Angels in America

Ok I'm tired of staring at my book shelf but you get the drift. I own lots of books on being a homo, comedy and mystical things. Wow maybe I'm completely obvious...hmmm.....


Annie said...

Have you read "Fall on your knees" by Ann-Marie MacDonald? I don't want to exaggerate, but it is one of the most amazing novels ever! :-)

Agnieszka said...

haha I wish my friends and family knew me so well ;)

I'm glad I can watch your shows on the internet, you're great!

Greetings from Poland :*

Natazzz said...

I have the exact same problem with books. I'd hate to think it's because my taste is so predictable. Instead of ending up with multiple copies, I always let people keep it for themselves....and demand a new present of course!

Ali Fitzgerald said...

I think I'm in love with you.

brazilian girls said...

What an intellectual you intimidating.

D'you have something by Barney the Purple Dinasaur too? Perhaps a tome elucidating the masses to the wonders of red, yellow, and blue coloured blocks and the various structures and forms available to would-be architects of said blocks.