Four years ago, I ordered a People Magazine subscription. I enjoyed the magazine but after I saw HER I knew it was time to move on. I'm talking about the sexy Entertainment Weekly. EW was hipper, less gossipy yet snarky and had real purpose. But this isn't about my new love, it's about the magazine that knows no limits when attempting to get what it wants.
So I did it...I ended it with People Magazine. It wasn't anything dramatic. I didn't just call it off. I waited until my subscription was up, but People must have known something was going on. One month before my People subscription ended, I started receiving these "renew now" flyers. First it was once a week, then they showed up daily, and then the emails and phone calls started.
The staff at People magazine just didn't want me to leave.
People Rep: "I noticed you didn't renew People and I'd like to make you a discounted offer but you must renew now."
I knew in my heart of heart that if I did this, if I renewed, it would be like walking down the aisle to be unhappily joined to this magazine for life. So I took a stand and said, "No."
After the People stopped showing up in my mailbox, I still received flyers and emails telling me "it would extend it's offer to renew at a discounted rate but d I have to act immediately."
I have moved twice since my original subscription and yesterday when I checked my PO mailbox I noticed that they found me again.........
So once and for all here's my "Dear John" letter to People Magazine (a.k.a. the pyscho ex-girlfriend of all magazines)
September 14, 2008
Dear People Magazine,
I'm writing you as my last attempt to get you to understand that I no longer want or need you in my life. I have tried to let you go on the best of terms but you have no boundaries.
Stay away from me, stay away from my family or else I will obtain a restraining order.
p.s. Ellen and Portia's wedding spread was lovely and your cover looks glossier than ever! Have you been working out?