Sunday, November 16, 2008

I could NEVER be JAMES BOND

This weekend I saw the new James Bond film, Quantum of Solace. I have no idea what that title means so if you do please enlighten me.

The action scenes got me so revved up that I ran to Blockbuster and rented the last 007 movie, Casino Royale. Both films are terrific and I still can't believe stunt people do what they do for a living.

While I watched Casino Royale I thought to myself, "I could never do that." What I should have thought was, "Duh! I COURSE I CAN'T DO THAT!" Besides that fact that I'm NOT a male secret agent, here is a list of 10 other reasons I could NEVER be James Bond, Agent 007.

1 I don't drink martinis. If I'm going to drink, which I rarely do, I'll have a glass of wine.

2 I have no threshold for pain. When I stub my toe I cry so I could never fall off a building and keep running after some badguy/badgirl. Although, I'd be more likely to run after the badgirl.

3 Speaking of running...yep...nope...I can't do that. I'd be out of breath in less then 4 minutes and I'd be sweaty. No thank you!

4 I'm a nester. I couldn't just "hook-up" with a bond girl and leave her high and dry even if she was a double agent. In the middle of my mission I'd probably beg M for a day off so I could take my lady to the Abbey.

5 Did I mention the whole running thing? Yep...nope...I'm still not doing that.

6 I HATE guns. If someone invents a gun that shoots rainbow unicorns then I'll consider getting one.

7 I can't drive a standard transmission. Do they make Aston Martins in automatic?

8 I couldn't kill anyone, not even for revenge. It's all too scary and I have enough trouble sleeping at night.

9 I need friends and family. Bond is a loner and he must be very sad on his birthday. Maybe if I give him a hug he'll reconsider killing on demand.

10 Bond's traditional tuxedos is classic but boring. I'd prefer to wear the bow tie with a strapless red gown.

Bridget

p.s. The stunt people that literally risk their lives to bring these amazing action packed films to life are truly gifted. Here's a list of the stunt men and women for Quantum of Solace:

Stunts
Dean Bailey .... stunts
Nicola Berwick .... stunt double
Massimiliano Bianchi .... stunt driver
Marvin Campbell .... stunts
Aris Comninos .... stunts
Ben Cooke .... stunts
Ottaviano Dell'Acqua .... stunts
Jacob Dewitt .... stunts
Wade Eastwood .... stunts
Clay Donahue Fontenot .... stunts
Glenn Foster .... stunts
Evangelos Grecos .... stunts
Jason Hunjan .... stunts
Rob Inch .... assistant stunt coordinator
Rob Inch .... stunts
Rowley Irlam .... stunts
Martin Ivanov .... stunts
Paul Kennington .... stunt double
Adam Kirley .... stunts
Kai Martin .... stunt double: Daniel Craig
Kai Martin .... stunts
Tina Maskell .... stunts
Peter Miles .... stunts
Riccardo Mioni .... stunt driver
Stefano Maria Mioni .... stunt driver
Lee Morrison .... stunts
Peter Pedrero .... stunts
Gary Powell .... stunt coordinator
Diz Sharpe .... stunts
Craig Silva .... stunts
David Ware .... stunts
Rod Woodruff .... stunts

10038487atimothy-dalton-james-bond-007-posters

12 comments:

RICHARD LANDER said...

I WILL TAKE YOUR ADVICE ON THIS

TheWeyrd1 said...

Um...so I get most of your list. And really I concur with most of your items. But, seriously, you call yourself a big ole lezzie, but you can't drive stick!?! Does Karman drive stick? Could she teach you? I think you can't convert a provisional lesbian license to a permanent one unless you can demonstrate certain skills... You might have to give back your toaster oven...heh.

Theresa Willson said...

Oh wow Bridge! Two things, I can't believe you saw Quantum of Solace before me, and I cannot believe you didn't see Casino Royale first. Casino Royale was awesome! I have it. Daniel Craig is my favorite Bond. He's so hot! I cannot wait to see this new Bond. All the previews look awesome and I love the song Another Way to Die by Jack White and Alicia Keys. Is that song awesome and off the hook hot or what? It's very catchy and stays in your head once you hear it. Do you like the song? And omg what about Alicia Keys? Oh man that girl can sing!!!!! I just love Alicia Keys. So how have you been Bridget? How have your comedy shows been going? Good I hope.

Nicole said...

i think this site is really wierd ok and i agree with theweyrd1

Julia said...

I read somewhere that "quantum of solace" is an expression used to describe "a tiny moment of comfort" or something like that
:)

fourth wave said...

Julia's right. I was confused by the title, too, so I looked it up. "Quantum" comes for the Greek/Latin and means amount/quantity. Hence, quantum physics is the study of minute indivisible particles (the smallest amount possible--quarks, neutrons and the like).

So, Quantum of Solace means some like a "moment of comfort" or a "measure of comfort" or a "tiny moment of comfort," depending on how you interpret it (since "quantum" doesn't necessarily have to mean a small amount).

Theresa Willson said...

Bridget, it would be cool to see what it would be like to have a female Bond, but I don't think you could do it, and I know I certainly would not be able to do it. All those stunts he does, he's awesome and in great shape. Not me. Maybe I'd be able to kill people with guns. Eh, even that's iffy. I would love to be the one who saves the day though. That'd be cool.

pyewacket said...

I look really hot in a tux...as long as it is fitted properly and all...and I can drive a manual transmission vehicle.

Otherwise, I am right there with you...the sweating and being out of breath...not a big drinker...I am not the type to bounce back after breaking my nose or something of the sort.

So I leave the being a secret agent as well as being a stunt double to the folks who enjoy it.

:)

Bunny (Lou) said...

This entry was so freaking entertaining,
and I was tearing up from laughing so hard over the Marvin Gaye link.

Thank you for kickstarting my Monday...afternoon.

(I can't drive a stick either. Gay AND from the south. What's wrong with me? I'm gonna fix that)

peace, girlie.

anytime_now said...

Omgosh, your "badgirl" link cracked me up good for some reason

I envy stunt people.

Theresa Willson said...

Hey Bridget, that's a cool new pic./poster of you on your myspace pg. with the OO7 Quantum of Solace added. It's very nice.

TweakyV said...

I'd be a shitty 007 too....i trip going UP the stairs.

Loved the movie though. Feel kinda bad for the red head was drowned in oil.