Whilst walking home from my vegan lunch yesterday I saw a man standing in the middle of a busy intersection. I was concerned that maybe he was intoxicated and would wander into traffic and hurt him and others. I started to cross over to his side of the street to check on him and that's when I saw his... PENIS!
The guy pulled his penis out and started peeing in the street and on the cars that drove by and honked at him. This entire incident was traumatizing so I have decided to make a list of things I would rather see than this strange man's penis:
#1 Anything else in the entire world but his penis.
#2 A unicorn (or unicorns- in case there are unicorn families)
#3 A taping of the David Letterman.
#4 Hilary Clinton become president of the United States
#5 Legalized gay married for the world.