Tuesday, April 14, 2009

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL Film Review

The Day the Earth Stood Still Film Review

I just got off a plane and I thought I'd put on a relaxing movie. I watched THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL but it didn't relax me it made my brain explode from stupidity.

Here is what Wikipedia's says about the movie, "A flying saucer orbits Earth, and lands in Central Park and alien Klaatu, Keanu Reeves, steps out and is shot by a jumpy soldier. The film updates the Cold War theme of nuclear warfare to the contemporary issue of humankind's environmental damage to the planet. The screenplay is based on the 1940 classic science fiction short story "Farewell to the Master" by Harry Bates and the 1951 screenplay adaptation by Edmund H."

Here's my *expert opinion:

-This disaster film has no heart so after 20 minutes I didn't care if the earth blow up or if the dvd caught on fire in my dvd player.

-Keanu Reeves plays an alien named Klaatu. This was the role he was BORN to play!

-THE LABYRINTH'S Jennifer Connelly has the fate of the world in her hands. Who put her dumb ass in charge? I'd rather have the fate of the World in the hands of Bill Pullman from INDEPENDENCE DAY or even Anne Heche in VOLCANO! Ok, that's not true. I wouldn't want Anne to make any decisions regarding the human race or even decide what I have for dinner.

-Kathy Bates acts like an angry Cinnabon thru the entire film. What a waste of the amazing and talented Kathy Bates. I'd rather watch Kathy's nude scene in ABOUT SCHMIDT for 4 hours straight than watch 1 trailer for TDTESS.

-Jaden Smith is a douche-in-training. Like father, like son.

-I paid money to rent this POS. Now I'll have to steal something to get my money back so this whole experience is a wash.

IN SUMMATION:
Thanks to TDTESS I now have become a petty thief. If David Bowie starred in this film it would have been awesome and the Earth wouldn't have stood still, it would have SPUN!



*By expert, I mean douche-graduate.

4 comments:

RoaOC said...

I avoided this remake like the plague for a very long time, mainly because the original is one of my all time favorite movies.. and it is definitely one of the best sci-fi movies ever made.

I was horrified when I heard that Keanu was going to play Klatu. My friends were like, 'stop being a movie snob, come see the movie.' I refused for months and months. Finally, last week, I saw the remake.. and, as I suspected, it was pure, unfiltered crap. I was irritated at the liberties the filmmakers took with the story and the screenplay was garbage.

Bridget, If you like classic cinema at all, do yourself a favor and rent the original 1951 version. It's lightyears better, smarter and more nuanced that most modern day sci-fi movies.

MamaMya said...

Why the f*ck didn't you just watch "Notting Hill"???

yMarie said...

I was thinking about seeing this one. But a couple of weeks ago I saw that movie KNOWING, even though I hate Nick Cage. And that movie took 2 hours of my life I'll never get back, and 7 dollars I'll never get back!

After watching that I thought to myself, "do I really wanna go see another movie about the world ending that will probably disappoint me and waste my money? do I even really wanna watch Keanu Reeves?" After thinking about it for 10 seconds I thought "no".

Besides, I don't really like Will Smith's little boy. I don't think he's a douche-in-training, the kid is already a douche.

Natazzz said...

You should learn to pick better movies ;-)

Then again, I quite enjoy reading your bad movie reviews...