Last night I dreamt that my friend Glenda and I were both running for President of the United States in the Democratic party. I turned to my wife and told her that I didn't think I'd get many votes because I'm gay and I have no political experience (all true). My friend Glenda is a tattoed wildwoman who is even less mainstream than I am yet Oprah decided to sponsor her political campaign. Let's keep it real, there is no way I can compete with Oprah!
Oprah put Glenda up in an enormous mansion and hosted fundraising parties to aid her campaign. Oprah also put me up but my accommodations were less fabulous and extremely dirty. The bed sheets had sand in them and the apartment was located at the bottom of a tall hill which I had to climb every morning to get to my meetings.
Whilst walking to one of my morning meetings I turned to my wife and said, "I'm really not going to win, am I?" And she looked at me and said, "Either way knowing Oprah can't be a bad thing." Then I woke up.
So this obviously means that I shouldn't run for President and you all should vote a zillion times to help me get my own Oprah show. :)