I miss my Big-Wheels

When I was a kid I had a Big-Wheels, known as the "King of the Sidewalk for 40 Years!" I use to ride that pink and blue masterpiece back in forth between driveways in the neighborhood and almost got hit by a car many times. Most of my riding memories end with my mother running out of the house screaming, "Watch out!" and then having a car swerve and just miss me. Wait, why didn't my mom take my Big-Wheels away the first time that happened?

Maybe she took out a baby insurance policy on me?....

Anyway, now a days kids have bigger and better toys than ever before. BEHOLD: The Mercedes 2 Seater made for 3 year olds +. For only $499.99 (before taxes) you can get your very own high-end faux German automobile with built in radio and chrome front grill (seriously?). This "toy" goes 5 miles per hour (umm that's kinda fast) and carries up to 132 lbs. If your 3 year old weighs 132 lbs you need to take them on Oprah.

I am so disturbed by this mini luxury car, not only because it's nicer than my Jeep but because the maker is encouraging these kids to take their toy off-roading. WHAT? Does this car require insurance and annual smog checks too?

I miss my Big-Wheels...




Go Off-Roading in Your Own Mercedes 2-Seater

Listen to your favorite tunes on the real FM radio as you cruise in your Mercedes G55 2-Seater SUV. The car has two forward speeds (2.5 and 5 mph) and 1 reverse speed (2.5 mph). Has chrome front grill and adjustable seat with pretend seat-belt. Includes MPL plug in with speaker. Parental supervision and safety gear required. Maximum capacity 132 lbs. Size 51¼"l x 30¾"w x 29½"h, Weight 87 lbs. (Age 3+)

Manufacturer requires 2-5 business days to process all orders. Please note that orders placed with expedited shipping will take priority and ship as quickly as possible.


Mercedes G55 2-Seater
Item #: 8280W
Our Price: $499.99

Fuck Guinea Pigs!

The movie industry is slower than ever and I just saw a billboard for an animated guinea pig movie called G-Force and it's due to come in July.

All my actor friends are filing for unemployment and drawings of rodents will be cleaning up at the box office. Sure a lot of actors (Nicolas Cage, Penelope Cruz, Sam Rockwell) are loaning their voices to the film but voiceover doesn't pay the same as long union hours on set.

If Hollywood cares about its people it will make more live action movies and scripted television. If this keeps up poor Penelope Cruz won't be able to afford polish for her Academy Award.

p.s. Wait...The G-Force movie will be in 3-D?!?!?! Disregard my above rant and let's go opening night!



p.p.s. Remember the awesome Michael Jackson Captain EO 3-D movie at Disneyland? Looking back now it's kinda disturbing.
G-Force

Michael Jackson - Captain Eo (Disneyland - 3D Glasses)
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TV confuses me.

Tonight I turned on CBS and I started watching the Grammy Nominations concert. It was a concert-like award show announcing the nominees for the upcoming Grammy award show. An award show for an award show? GAWD I miss the scripted television shows from the 1980s. I miss the COSBY show, I miss GROWING PAINS, I miss WHO'S THE BOSS? (In case you are still wondering Judith Light was the boss!)

Now I'm off to watch some quality tv. The Victoria's Secret fashion show is on and I want to see if Heidi Klum falls on her ass.