Last night I rented the critically acclaimed film, Dan in Real Life, starring the fabulous comic genius Steve Carell. I had high hopes for this film although douchey mcdoucherson Dane Cook costarred as Carell's brother. I figured the charming French actress Juliette Binoche would melt my heart like she did in the English Patient and Chocolate but alas I found myself screaming at my dvd player saying- this is AWFUL!
If you haven't seen the film let me give you a run down:
Single father and writer, Carell is raising is 3 young daughters. Oh how cute! I automatically have to love Carell as the underdog protagonist and I bet by the end of the film he and his girls grow closer together. Please excuse me while I vomit in my own mouth. Cud anyone? (Come on who doesn't love a good cow reference?)
Carell and his darlings pack up and heads to Rhode Island for a family gathering. The grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins all love each other SO much that they play games NON stop.
Hey- let's go to the beach!
Hey- let's do crossword puzzles!
Hey- let's play charades!
Hey- let's do aerobics outside!
Hey- let's have a music night and sing together!
This was like watching the Brady Bunch on steroids. No family loves each other that much. If I was with my family I'd be hiding out in my bedroom waiting to check in online early so I could catch a flight back home.
The best part of this movie is when Carell has love at first sight with Binoche from across a bookstore. Who wouldn't have love at first site with Juliette Binoche? As the two strangers part ways Carell gets Binoche's phone number although she tells him she has a boyfriend.
On a side note- I would kick my girlfriend in the head if she gave her number to a stranger!
Ok back to the plot:
Carell races back to his family's house excited that he finally meet someone. Poor guy, it's been four years since his wife's passing. As Carell enters the house his two brothers jump up and instantly notice Carell's sudden mood change. Wait, when did straight men become so intuitive?
Carell explains he met someone special and just at that moment Cook wants to introduce Carell to his new girlfriend. SURPRISE! His new girlfriend is Juilette Binoche! Don't you hate it when that happens? Hijinks must ensue, right?
I'll fast forward past the retardation and forced chemistry to the surprising ending when Cook "allows" Carell to have his girlfriend. As if she was a bowling trophy he has no need for anymore. Carell marries Binoche and their wedding is shown during the closing credits.
So let me just clarify why I have a huge problem with this film- I would NEVER marry, date or touch someone that my sister dated. Gross gross gross! There are enough people in this world that you don't have to share a vagina vessels with one of your family members.
Below are three other movies where siblings share sex partners. Did I mention this is disguising and resembles an episode of Jerry Springer?
The Other Boleyn Girl