Monday, July 21, 2008

Dan In Real Life.

Last night I rented the critically acclaimed film, Dan in Real Life, starring the fabulous comic genius Steve Carell. I had high hopes for this film although douchey mcdoucherson Dane Cook costarred as Carell's brother. I figured the charming French actress Juliette Binoche would melt my heart like she did in the English Patient and Chocolate but alas I found myself screaming at my dvd player saying- this is AWFUL!

If you haven't seen the film let me give you a run down:
Single father and writer, Carell is raising is 3 young daughters. Oh how cute! I automatically have to love Carell as the underdog protagonist and I bet by the end of the film he and his girls grow closer together. Please excuse me while I vomit in my own mouth. Cud anyone? (Come on who doesn't love a good cow reference?)

Carell and his darlings pack up and heads to Rhode Island for a family gathering. The grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins all love each other SO much that they play games NON stop.

Hey- let's go to the beach!
Hey- let's do crossword puzzles!
Hey- let's play charades!
Hey- let's do aerobics outside!
Hey- let's have a music night and sing together!

This was like watching the Brady Bunch on steroids. No family loves each other that much. If I was with my family I'd be hiding out in my bedroom waiting to check in online early so I could catch a flight back home.

The best part of this movie is when Carell has love at first sight with Binoche from across a bookstore. Who wouldn't have love at first site with Juliette Binoche? As the two strangers part ways Carell gets Binoche's phone number although she tells him she has a boyfriend.

On a side note- I would kick my girlfriend in the head if she gave her number to a stranger!

Ok back to the plot:

Carell races back to his family's house excited that he finally meet someone. Poor guy, it's been four years since his wife's passing. As Carell enters the house his two brothers jump up and instantly notice Carell's sudden mood change. Wait, when did straight men become so intuitive?

Carell explains he met someone special and just at that moment Cook wants to introduce Carell to his new girlfriend. SURPRISE! His new girlfriend is Juilette Binoche! Don't you hate it when that happens? Hijinks must ensue, right?

I'll fast forward past the retardation and forced chemistry to the surprising ending when Cook "allows" Carell to have his girlfriend. As if she was a bowling trophy he has no need for anymore. Carell marries Binoche and their wedding is shown during the closing credits.

So let me just clarify why I have a huge problem with this film- I would NEVER marry, date or touch someone that my sister dated. Gross gross gross! There are enough people in this world that you don't have to share a vagina vessels with one of your family members.

Below are three other movies where siblings share sex partners. Did I mention this is disguising and resembles an episode of Jerry Springer?

The Other Boleyn Girl
Family Stone
American Sweetheart



Julia said...

yay first to comment! you were inspired for this post, it's LONG! :) I shall go read it now ;)

Julia said...

ok now that I've read your summary of the movie let me just say that :

1) i usually like Juliette Binoche but what the heck is this haircut!! she looks like she had an encounter with a drunk hairstylist

2) i would kick my girlfriend if she gave her number to anyone who had just hit on her!

Kristin said...

Juliette Binoche = totally smokin' hot in the movie Chocolat.

Ash said...

aggrevating storyline indeed, at least The Other Boleyn Girl was set in the 16th century you would think that people know better by now, i guess NOT. how can such a storyline be romantic or even comedic i have no clue.
Since everyone who saw this movie disagreed with me i thought maybe i was on my own on this one. Thanks for sharing my feelings bridget!

Kristin said...

I saw this last movie last year and wanted to leave after the first 20 minutes. It was ass. Sorry that you had to experience it.

Natazzz said...

Nice review.

I agree, all this sharing business is gross. Still, I blame Juliette, not the dumb brothers, she should've had more sense.

pyewacket said...

So wait, did you like the movie or not?


Okay, first...THANK YOU...I saw this movie about 6 months ago and could I like Juliette Binoche and Steve Carell and yet HATE this movie so much?

Second, I think I blamed my intense dislike for the movie on Dane Cook because he doesn't come close to having the talent the hype would lead you to believe. (I think it must be that his mom is also his publicist and Hollywood believes the crap she is selling about her son's specialness!)

Third, I have the same intense dislike for The Family Stone as I have for Dan In Real Life! And was asking myself the same question after I watched could I like most of the Diane Keaton, Sarah Jessica Parker, Claire Danes, Rachel McAdams, and Elizabeth Reaser...and yet HATE this movie SO SO much?!??!??

Oh and fourth...did you catch the LAME reason why it was so okay for Dan to covet his brother's girlfriend according to Dan's parents? Well I guess mom and dad saw each other for the first time on a train but mom was with her boyfriend on the train. Unless the boyfriend turned out to be a long, lost brother (which he didn't)...I don't really see the comparison!

MK1709 said...

Alrighty, I'll stay clear of this movie then... Even though it has a "norwegian" soundtrack...

And let's hope that Ka... umm.. *cough*... your girlfriend never hands out her phonenumber again, cause a kick in the head sounds painfull...

Lisa said...

Ok! I wouldn't date someone my family member dated or even my friends dated for that matter. It is weird. But,it would never happen. None of us have the same taste anyway! But as for Family Stone. I liked it and cried at the end! Im a softy! But, the best quote in the movie is something like "U have a freak flag U just don't fly it". Worth the whole movie to me! Have used it! Haven't seen the rest so no opinions there!