Friday, August 21, 2009

Things I don't understand.

Things I don't understand:

-Rebates.

-Tights that only go to the ankle.

-Decaffeinated coffee.

-Guns.

-Any movie starring Andie Macdowell.

-My wife's obsession with Stevie Nicks.

-Fat free cheese.

-Fat free mayonnaise.

-Paying to park at a mall.

-Why we are a wealthy country yet we have a homeless problem in the USA.

-Bloody Marys.

-When lobsters are served and eaten whole.

-Why William Shatner doesn't have his own channel.

-Why most places in the world are opposed to gay people- we're super cool...duh!

-Genital piercings.

-Why landlords can chose to not allow pets but don't discriminate against children (who are much louder and make more of a mess).

-Why we shrink when we get older.

-The lack of variety of music on the radio.

-Wearing tights or socks with open toed shoes.

-Laser eye surgery.

-Why popcorn and soda costs so much at movie theaters.

-Camping.

-Gorgonzola cheese.

-When restaurants assume you want a lemon wedge in tap water.

-Closeted celebrities.

-People that have kids and don't parent or love them.

-Animal haters.

-Why anyone cares about Jon & Kate Gosselin.

-Clowns.

filmography

10 comments:

Sarah said...

Andie McDowell - ick. Gorgonzola - yum.

David said...

I think the Shatner Channel is an idea whose time has come, and we can make it happen.

Alicia said...

yes! The lemon wedge-why restaurants, why?

If I wanted to put something with flavour in water, I'd make it chocolate (and you would make it angel food, yes?)

Alicia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sonianv said...

i still say the lack of variety of music in the radio is a conspiracy! lol.

Chantal said...

n't like the Gosselins. Oh and yeah, I hate clowns too. THey're scary

AlainAspect said...

How about tax forms.
or how to synthesize an arthritis medicine that doesn't kill your stomach...
or why the chicken crossed the road including jokes, commentaries, or inane conversations about poultry

purple_moogle said...

Decaffeinated coffee - So you can drink it before bedtime if you like the taste and still sleep/some peoplego crazy hyper from normal coffee?

Laser eye surgery - 'Cus it must be so awesome to have perfect vision, like permanent contact lenses!

Tights that only go to the ankle - So you can wear flip flops of course!!! I don't actually like the look of footless tights much, I didn't pay for some I just cut the ends of some tights. They're black and I wear them with my denim skirt and flipflops if I feel self conscious about my legs. I only wear them about halfway down my leg though.

Also, some ppl don't like tights because they're feet sweat. When it was really cold and my housemate didn't want to turn up heating she said buy thick leggins and socks under my jeans. Okay so not exactly footless tights but the point is that tights would have got sweaty if you're all bundled up to keep warm. Footless things have their advantages!!

A bit too much detail as a comment on a comedy blog? but oh well, maybe I changed your mind..

Skinny Arbuckle said...

oooh i know what you mean!

fat free anything is odd.
a shatner channel could totally work! if programmers are really worried, they could make it a WILLIAM SHATNER-JACK LORD channel. now there's a ton of programming!

we have a huge homeless prob. b/c we don't have healthcare and housing for the mentally ill any more.

stevie nicks is awesome.

andie mcdowell is a stone fool.

tap water tastes and smells like ass.

laser eye surgery is great, if it makes you shoot lasers from your eyes. otherwise, pass.

knee high tights are really great for me to wear with my caftans.

anything involving decaf and lobsters is bullshit.

queers are better. so the rest are jealous.

landlords cannot discriminate against kids. it's the law. otherwise they would. they used to in the old days. i mean, the good old days.

jon and kate minus me. that's what i say.

i don't remember what else was on your list.

but i do want to take a moment to say you have a great rack.

Lainey said...

I don't understand why you don't understand your wife's obsession w/Stevie Nicks? She's awesome. Heart is my obsession personally, but still.....Stevie Rocks too!

I adore you Bridget, but I'm with your wife on this one!