Yesterday I was diagnosed with swine flu. Not the best news in the world but as an asthmatic it's better to know then not to know and go untreated. Here are the top 5 reasons why that swine flu sucks and the swine flu rules:
SWINE FLU SUCKS LIST:
#1 12 hours of non-stop vomiting.
#2 Every part of your body hurts at all times.
#3 Waves of fevers
#4 Having to cancel all your plans for a week (including my shows, ugh!)
#5 My wife avoiding me because she doesn't want to get sick.
SWINE FLU RULES LIST:
#1 I don't feel guilty watching episodes of So You Think You Can Dance over and over.
#2 I've lost weight! After non-stop vomiting and being unable to eat anything besides saltines, it was inevitable.
#3 My sweet wife waiting on me hand and foot (and then running away in fear- it's really cute)
#4 My cat can tell that I'm sick and it's acting like she loves me. (also really cute)
#5 I get fun toys like "Piggy" the Swine Flu koala bear. (very cuddly and contaminated)